Sunday 29 June 2014

Too Bad!! How a 14-year-old girl that has been married and divorced twice Was Forced Into Marriage With N30k Bride Price



A 14 year old girl who has been married

and divorced twice to men that are old

enough to give birth to her, Maimuna

Abdullahi, has just told her sad story.

Although she has escaped and is now

learning how to design cloths, she

wants her friends who have been

trapped in forced marriages in Northern

Nigeria to be freed too.

Read her sad/Shocking story told to

Dailymail.co.uk below:

Maimuna Abdullahi was sold into

marriage by her parents for £120 and

abused by her new husband, who locked

her away and forced hard labour on her.

When she ran home she was beaten,

first by her father, then her husband,

and was summarily divorced by her

husband for daring to flee – and she is

still just 14 years old.

She is one of thousands in Nigeria with

similar stories – and, shockingly, her

husband blames his beaten former bride

for her ordeal, saying she was

disobedient and over-educated.

Attacker: Saidu, pictured, said he feared

marrying someone more educated would

make him 'the wife'. After Maimuna fled

him, he divorced her

Saidu

Maimuna’s former husband, Mahammadu

Saidu, blames her few years of school

for her disobedience. A handsome man

of 28 who is obviously proud of his

ankle-high boots, he does not deny

beating his wife.

‘She had too much ABCD,’ he says. ‘Too

much ABCD.’

After fleeing her husband Mahammadu

Saidu, who locked her away for days at a

time, she was whipped by her family for

daring to come home, then attacked by

her furious husband as well.

Her battered face swelled so much that

doctors feared her husband had

dislocated her jaw. Her back and arms

bristled with angry welts from the

whipping her father gave her.

She was gaunt from hunger, dressed in

filthy rags. And barely a year after her

wedding, she was divorced.

No sanctuary: Maimuna's parents, Rabi

Abdullahi, left and Haruna Abdullahi,

right, have seven other children and say

it is not unusual to marry as young as 12

Maimuna's parents

It would be a tragic story for a woman of

any age. But for Maimuna Abdullahi, it all

happened by the time she was 14. ‘I’m

too scared to go back home,’ she

whispers, a frown crinkling her brow as

she fiddles nervously with her hands. ‘I

know they will force me to go back to my

husband.’

Nigeria, a young country of about 170

million, has one of the highest rates of

child marriage in the world.

The law of the land states that the age

of consent, and thus of marriage, is 18.

However, the custom of child marriage

is still ingrained enough that even a

middle-aged federal senator has

married five child brides and divorced at

least one.

Across the country, one in five girls are

married before the age of 15, according

to the United Nations.

In the desperately poor Muslim north,

where child marriage is often

considered acceptable by shariah or

Islamic law, that number goes up to one

in two.

This is also where Boko Haram is trying

to impose its extreme version of Islam,

changing the face of the region and

especially of its girls.

Children as young as five now hide their

heads and shoulders in hijabs, a rare

sight just a few years ago. Some girls

become wives as early as nine.

Maimuna was saved from this fate by

Saadatu Aliyu, who has turned an old

family home into a school for divorced

girls.

At the Tattalli Free School, which gets

by on private donations, a couple of

dozen girls gather in the courtyard for a

sewing lesson. Toddlers mill around, the

children of divorced girls who came in

pregnant.

‘Nobody knows how many thousands of

them there are,’ says Aliyu of the girls.

‘That’s why we have so many

prostitutes, and very young ones, in the

north.’

Maimuna grew up on the outskirts of

Kaduna, in a half-finished brick building

on the edge of a middle-class suburb.

Her father, a farmer called Haruna

Abdullahi, picks up a stone and throws it

at a stray dog as scrawny as he is. At

45, he’s been married for 30 years and

has fathered eight children.

‘It’s our culture to give our girls in

marriage,’ he says in a reasoning tone.

‘From the age of 12, a girl can go to her

husband’s house.’

His wife, Rabi Abdullahi, nods, and asks

her husband’s permission before talking.

She too was a child when she married,

although she does not know exactly how

old.

‘It is our way of life,’ she says. ‘In my day,

a bride would never dare to run away.’

Her life is hard, she says, but her

marriage good. She insists that her

husband is not a cruel man, pointing to a

well he built so she did not need to walk

more than a mile to collect water.

So in late 2012, Maimuna’s father

arranged to marry his eldest daughter

to his best friend’s eldest son.

The son, Saidu, paid a dowry of 35,000

naira (£120) for Maimuna – more cash

than Abdullahi has had in his life. She

was 13, and he twice her age.

Saidu farms his own plot of land and

owns a small motorbike, making him

relatively well off and eligible.

He says he has known Maimuna all his

life, and waited years for her to reach

what he considers marriageable age.

‘When she was a kid, I would bring her

candy and call her “wifey”,’ he says. ‘We

were always meant to be together.’

Saidu left his village school at fifth

grade, the highest level offered, and

says he regrets it.

The high school was in another village,

too far to walk. Now he cannot write,

and must find someone else to read him

even the most personal of letters.

He says he promised Maimuna she could

carry on going to school, even if it meant

he had to find work in town. But he also

worried.

‘If she is educated, she will be looking

down on me because I didn’t go to

school, so she will be the husband and I

will be the wife,’ he explains.

Maimuna said she did not love him and

begged her father to let her stay in

school. She had always been a good

daughter, obedient, hard-working and

popular among her friends, so her

stubborn refusal to accept her marriage

surprised her parents.

But her wishes were not up for

discussion. Her father was clear on

what counts: ‘It’s what is good for the

family and the community.’

Many of Maimuna’s friends from school

were already married and not one was

happy, but they had no idea how to

escape.

Nobody prepared Maimuna for the

marriage bed. There was no advice, no

warning of what to expect, even from

her married friends.

She settled into a new life where she

felt like a slave. When she wasn’t

working in the fields, she was cleaning,

carrying water and firewood, cooking

and at the beck and call of her husband’s

demanding parents.

Every day she was exhausted, and

when she finally got to bed, her husband

wanted to ‘bother’ her, she says.

He never kept his promise to let her go

to school.

When she objected to her treatment,

her husband locked her into their hut,

for days. He would not even allow her to

visit her parents.

Maimuna bided her time until the rainy

season was over and her husband went

to town to find work.

Nine months ago, she took off, escaping

to her father and begging him to let her

return home.

Instead, he whipped her until her back

was raw. Then he summoned her

husband and forced her to go back to

him.

Saidu, humiliated and furious, slapped

her repeatedly in the face, jerking her

head from side to side with the force of

his blows.

She fled once again, first to a

sympathetic aunt in a nearby village and

then to a cousin in Kaduna.

She now shares one cramped room with

her cousin’s family, just a short walk

away from Tattalli school, down a dusty

alley and along a road lined by open

drains stinking of stagnant water.

When Maimuna showed up at the school,

she had been badly beaten and refused

to speak, says teacher Victoria Dung.

They took her to the hospital, where

doctors found she was badly

malnourished. The whip marks on her

back may last a lifetime.

Her husband waited the customary

three months to make sure there was

no baby. Then he divorced her, as a

husband can do under shariah or Islamic

law by declaring the divorce aloud three

times.

He informed her parents of the divorce

in a letter dated Feb. 14, which he could

not write himself.

Maimuna considers herself among the

lucky ones. She balances a broken chair

on a tree stump at the school to sit in

front of a sewing machine, learning to

make garments she can sell in the

market.

She thinks she’d like nursing, and wants

to master English and Arabic.

‘I don’t know what I want to be when I

grow up but, even if I get married, I want

to have some education to back me up,’

she says in her native Hausa, with a

teacher translating.

‘I pray that what I have done will help

the younger ones, that my parents

learn from the experience of my running

away from home.’

It is by no means certain.

After her departure, Maimuna’s father

called a community meeting to discuss

the problem with elders.

He says he knows of many girls who ran

away from home because of marriages,

but the elders have not yet come up

with a solution.

Some girls are rebelling in other ways. A

14-year-old forced to marry a 39-year-

old in April poisoned the groom’s food a

week after their wedding, killing him and

three of his friends.


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